For every life there is a death
by lucasscottlover1
Summary: Lucas saves Nathan but can Nathan return the favor? Lots of sadness in this story. Can the dead really come back?
1. under the ice

_I hope you enjoy my new story. It is a few months in the future, about 3 epesodes ahead of now. Brooke did something and screwed up her relationship with Lucas as did Haley with Nathan. I will tell you what they did in future chapters. Please review and tell me what you think please._

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Ice covered all the lakes in town and snow filled the streets. The temperature sank below freezing and it was Christmas eve. The moon shined brightly in the pit of the night. The town was lit from one end to the other in colorful Christmas lights. Yet some still hurt from within. 

Nathan and Lucas walked the town, both hearts hurting, and cried out to the max.

How can you claim to love someone and continuously break their hearts?

Nathan needed to feel numb so he figured a little alchol would do the trick. He lushed down four bottles of Bud Light before he really began to feel a buzz.

Lucas on the other hand decided to destroy a few things on the way to the rivercourt, Starting with a few picture frames and ending with his feelings for Brooke. He was done loving her. She hurt him more than enough already.

Nathan stood on the court and looked at the thin layer of ice covering the lake. He hated how Haley had such an effect on him. How could she have hurt him again? It just shows people really never change!

"Why cant you love me back?" Nathan yelled across the water. "I love you so much Haley. Am I that hard to love?" He threw an empty bottle of beer across the ice and fell to his knees in tears. A flood of tears rolled down his cheeks he could no longer hold back the pain he felt.

Lucas walked up to the court and saw Nathan crying. He walked up to Nathan and grabbed his shoulder.

"You ok man?" asked Lucas.

Nathan looked up at Lucas in disgust. "It really doesn't matter anyways," snapped Nathan.

"What happened," Lucas asked.

"Haley thought it would be fun to break my heart," Nathan spat as he took another sip of his beer. "It's nothing I'm not used to by now."

"I'm really sorry," Lucas said as he looked at the empty bottles surrounding Nathan. "Drinking isn't the answer though."

"What do you know anyway," asked Nathan. "Instead of prowling the town at night you should be working on your Damn game."

"Whatever Nathan," replied Lucas. He didn't feel like arguing so he turned to walk away.

"Figures you'd walk away," laughed Nathan."I never thought you had any balls anyway. If you ask me your a wimp."

Lucas turned to face Nathan again."Well I didn't ask you."

"Well lets see if Lucas has any balls," shouted Nathan across the water. "I dare you to walk across the ice...he paused. Now lets see if your man enough to do it?"

"It's not even completely frozen Nathan," informed Lucas. "I'm not an idiot."

"No but at least you proved my point," shouted Nathan. He grabbed another beer and popped the cap off. After he made his way onto the ice and walked towards the middle."You really are a wimp."

"Nathan get off the ice," warned Lucas. "The water isn't frozen all the way."

"Unlike you Lucas I'm no wimp," shouted Nathan. He took a sip of the beer until it quenched his thirst. "See, watch this," He started to jump up and down trying to prove his point. The ice underneath him began to crack.

"Nathan stop the ice is breaking," screamed Lucas. "Get off the ice. You proved your point already. I'm a wimp OK, just get off already."

Nathan took a step forward and the ice beneath him broke. He flew into the chilling water in mere seconds.

"Nathan," screamed Lucas. He ran to the edge of the ice and searched for Nathan. He never came up though. "Shit," yelled Lucas. He ripped off his jacket and dove into the water after Nathan.

The coldness of the water sent a shock through Lucas's body. Never had he experienced such a shock. He searched the water for Nathan. In seconds he found him and swam to get him. It was so weird being under the ice, it was surprisingly really dark. Each time he moved his arms he felt instant pain throughout his chest. The water was so cold. It seemed to be taking forever to reach Nathan. He saw that Nathan was already beginning to choke on water. He had to get to him fast. He couldn't let his baby brother drown it was his duty being the big brother to save him. When he finally reached Nathan he began pulling him up. Lucas couldn't hold his breath for much longer. He began choking on water too. He finally reached the top and both him and Nathan gasped for air.

"Climb up Nathan," yelled Lucas.

Nathan followed orders and climbed on Lucas. He made it on top of the ice and started choking up water.

"Help me up Nathan," asked Lucas.

Nathan grabbed Lucas's arms and pulled him up. Lucas made it partway on the ice and slipped back in the water. Lucas grabbed his heart which was now shooting sharp pains through his chest. He lost grip with his one hand and went under the ice. His heart hurt like hell. He felt himself drifting further and further from the top. He saw the light from the the moon slowly fade away. He felt weak and couldn't find enough strength to make it back up the hole. He made one last attempt to swim up but he found himself lost under the ice. He couldn't find the hole again. He pushed hard against the ice but it didn't budge he couldn't break through it. He finally had no strength in him and found himself drifting further and further from the surface. "I love you bro," were some of his last thoughts before losing consciousness.

"Lucas," screamed Nathan. He was ready to dive in after him when Keith grabbed him and stopped him. Keith dove in after Lucas.

Nathan sat crying. He waited for Keith to resurface with Lucas. He was freezing and found himself shaking hard. Keith seemed to be taking forever.

Finally Keith sprung out of the water holding Lucas in his arms. Nathan grabbed Lucas from Keith and drug him onto the ice. He grabbed Keith's hand and helped him up.

Keith took a breather and dragged Lucas off the ice. Nathan followed quickly behind.

Lucas was blue in color and ice was forming in his hair.

"He's not breathing," yelled Keith. Keith began pumping Lucas's chest. "ONE...TWO...THREE...," he repeated in rhythm. He tried blowing air into his lungs. "Call 911."

"Can I help you?" the paramedic on the receiving end asked.

"Were at the rivercourt on the edge of town, we need help now," yelled Nathan. "We fell into the ice and my brother isn't breathing." Nathan watched Keith pump Lucas chest.

"Son are you there," asked the paramedic on the phone.

Nathan was in shock and didn't respond. He just had his eyes fixed on Lucas.

"Come on kid, breathe," screamed Keith. "Lucas don't give up on me." Keith thought about the last time he talked or even seen Lucas.

_Flashback_

"Keith you leaving?" asked Lucas. "Look I know I made the wrong decision about not telling you about Jules and Dan. I'm sorry, but you gotta know Jules loves you.

"You mean Emily?" corrected Keith."You should have told me the truth Luke. I've always been honest with you, I thought we meant more to each other, maybe I was wrong."

"Keith where are you going?" asked Lucas.

"Don't know," said Keith.

"You coming back?" asked Lucas.

"For the first time in my life I don't know if I have anything to come back for," answered Keith.

Those last words replayed in Keith's mind over and over since he left town. He still remembered the hurt look on Lucas's face when he said it."I'm sorry Luke," apologized Keith. "I do understand why you did what you did. Just please breathe for me."

Nathan watched as his brother's life faded further and further away. "I can't believe you risked your life for me," Nathan whispered to himself. "You saved my life." he paused and looked at Lucas. "Thanks bro"


	2. Come back please

_Please send reviews... I love them! hope you like this chapter..._

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"Please bless this loving son and take him into your savor," blessed the priest. "Lucas was a great and loving son and he lay here in front of us now. What he did took true heroics, ones in which I hope you noticed. Lucas touched many people on his time here on earth. We thank you for the time we were able to spend with him, he will always be remembered in our hearts! Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The priest walked away from the casket in which Lucas laid.

Rain poured hard that day. It soaked everything it touched. A crowd of people were all crowded around Lucas's body. People who all held a special place for him in their hearts. Bouquets of flowers surrounded the casket and a large picture showed his image. One by one people said goodbye to him before he was laid into the ground. Each laying a single red rose on top his casket. Lots of tears were shed, and hearts ached for the young boy lost.

Nathan stood there in shock. He didn't want to accept the fact that Lucas was gone. Images still haunted him from the night Lucas drowned. Nathan still remembered seeing Lucas's face pressed against the ice. He stared at the picture of Lucas that was on top the casket. Sure enough he was holding a basketball. He always loved the game! He loved it more than anything, except maybe his family. He made a few exceptions for an occasional cheerleader too. Basketball was still something special to him though.

"Now if everyone is finished saying their goodbyes we are ready to lower the casket into the ground,"spoke the priest.

"No," objected Nathan.

"Is something wrong," asked the priest.

Haley turned and looked at Nathan when he interrupted the service. Tears poured down her face, her best friend in the world was gone. "How could you leave me?" cried Haley."I loved you my buddy. I always will too."

"He doesn't have a basketball," yelled Nathan. It was like he was in his own little world. He stared blankly at the casket and never looked away. "You forgot to get him a basketball, he would have wanted that." Tears began to fall down Nathan's face. "You can't forget that." He started to break down. He slowly fell to his knees and began crying like a baby.

Debb rushed to her sons side and tried to comfort him She got down on her knees and wrapped him in her arms and hugged him tightly. "It's ok Nathan," she whispered softly to him."It's ok baby,relax."

"There is one in the coffin," interrupted Karen."I didn't forget it Nathan." Her voice was low and empty. There was nothing left for her now that Lucas was gone. He was all she had left in the world.

Nathan pulled out of his moms grip and sprung to his feet. He hated crying in front of people. He walked up to the casket. "Sorry man, I can't handle this anymore. I'm so sorry bro." Nathan ran the tips of his fingers along the casket. "I love you man." With those last words he took off through the graveyard. He ran at full speed dodging the headstones on the way. Tears made their way though his eyelids as he ran. He couldn't bear to look at Lucas anymore, there was too much pain.

"Nathan," yelled Debb.

He didn't turn back. He just ran and let the rain drowned his pain.

Brooke laid nestled in Peyton's arms. She was completely cried out. The love of her life was gone. Her eyes never left the casket as it was being lowered into the ground. Makeup was smeared down her cheeks. She didn't care about how she looked though she just wanted him back.

Peyton refused to speak since she heard the bad news. She was heartbroken that another person she loved had died. People tried to get her to talk but their attempts failed. Atleast until now. She pulled out of Brooke's rip and walked up to the casket. "I hate you Lucas," she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Your nothing but a liar. You said you wouldn't leave me like everyone else." She walked away from the burial and got into her car. She sped off leaving everyone in awe.

Mouth, Skills, Fergie and Junk all gathered around and stood silently watching their best bud get put to rest. Skills threw the score record on top of the casket as he was being put down. It held all the scores from the games they played at the rivercourt. Of course Lucas held the highest record.

"You'll always be my bud," whispered skills.

"Thanks for being there for me," thanked mouth. " Live on Luke."

The service ended soon after that. Lots paid their apologies to Karen as they left but they meant nothing to her. Nothing could take the place of her son.

Whitey threw his favorite blue baseball cap on the grave before he left. He gave Karen a hug and promised he'd be there if she needed anything.

The day passed but the rain never did. The heavens were definitely crying for the young boy.

Keith drove Karen home to make sure she made it home safe. There is no telling what she might do if given the chance.

Haley gave Brooke a ride home since Peyton left. They stayed silent the entire way home. They still couldn't believe Lucas was actually gone.

Only one remained on the cold ground above Lucas. The person he liked least!...Dan Scott.

"It's a mess you got yourself into huh?" Dan asked Lucas. "You know the son is supposed to outlive the father." Dan rubbed away a stray tear that had fallen. He never admitted it but he did care for Lucas. "You always had that hero instinct in you, that was your problem! But I guess that was what made you the person you were. I know I should have said this before but I was always proud of you Lucas. You were a great kid. I'm sorry I'm so late though. I also wanted to thank you for saving my life.You really shouldn't have." Dan walked to his car in tears, with all that has happened he still didn't want to lose his son. His first born too!

Christmas brought nothing but sadness this year to the people in Tree Hill. Lucas usually was the one who brought everyone together, he will no longer be able to do that.

Nathan ran until his feet wouldn't carry him anymore. He finally stopped running when he came to the bridge. He remembered seeing Lucas jog across the bridge some days after school. Nathan walked up to the bridge and looked over the side it had to be over 100 feet down. He rested his arms on the beam and looked at the ice beneath.

"I'm sorry," Nathan cried. He shook his head, shaking his head in every direction. "Lucas," he screamed. His words echoed back to him. He stared up at the sky. "If your listening out there, if you can hear me please know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I put you through." He slid down the asphalt and leaned against the railing. He cried until he couldn't anymore. "It should have been me that died, not you," he whispered.

To what extent will Nathan go to? What did Brooke do that sent Lucas away that night? Haley too? Is it true that everyone Peyton loves leaves her? Can Karen deal with the loss of her son? Who will she go to for comfort?Can the dead really come back? Read more and find out!


	3. Sadness

_Sorry for the waitI've been really busy...believe me my stories are always on my mind! I will never end them unfinished! I hope you like the new ud! I know some of you are mad Lucas died but I did that for a reason..it's not the end of him so stay tuned! Please review they keep me writing!_

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Nathan walked through the pouring rain until he reached his doorstep. He opened the door and was greeted by Debb. 

"Sweety are you ok?" asked Debb. She touched his shoulder and he backed up in shock. "Where have you been? Your soaking wet."

Nathan gave her a blank stare and yawned. He was exhausted from all the crying. He was steadily shaking from the coldness.

"Nathan look at you!" consoled Debb. "Your going to catch a cold in these clothes. You need to change out of them this instant."

Nathan just stared at her with a lonely and blank expression. He ignored her orders and made his way up the stairs. Walking into his room he shed off his coat on the floor and pulled off his wet tank. He flopped on the bed and buried himself under the covers. Closing his eyes he drowned himself in his own tears.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Brooke and Haley just arrived home after their long drive home. They walked into the apartment in complete silence and made their way to their rooms.

Brooke laid on her bed and looked out the window. She listened to the constant tapping of the rain against the window seal.

She stared crying again when she thought about her last in counter with Lucas. He was so upset with her and she could never explain the truth to him now. He died thinking she didn't want him, and in the end he was all she wanted.

_Flashback_

"Chris come on, you got to leave," yelled Brooke.

"I know you want me!" Chris yelled back. "I know you think about our night together! I do every day."

"Oh yeah all the time!" Brooke snapped sarcastically. "Look that night was a mistake Chris. I love Lucas with all my heart."

Chris grabbed Brooke and smashed his lips against hers in a kiss.

Lucas opened the door to the apartment and witnessed the scene in front of him. His mouth flew open as he saw them together again. Images from them in bed flashed through his mind."

Brooke realized Lucas standing at the door and broke free from Chris.

"Lucas it's not what it looks like," defended Brooke.

"Yeah me and Brooke were just preparing for tonight," lied Chris. He gave a sly grin to Lucas.

A small tear ran down Luke's cheek as he stormed out the apartment in anger.

Brooke glared at Chris and ran out the apartment in anger. "Lucas wait," screamed Brooke as she ran after him in the dark. She caught up to him and grabbed his arm.

He refused to look her in the eye. "Leave me alone Brooke," he yelled.

"Lucas let me explain," she yelled back. "He kissed me. I didn't want him to."

Lucas finally looked her in the eye. "You could have turned away."

"He caught me off surprise," cried Brooke. "Please believe me."

"Just leave me alone Brooke, I can't deal with this now," he stated. He was too upset to give a shit about the truth right now he just needed to be alone.

_Reality_

Brooke turned around in her bed and wiped tears. "I really did love you Lucas," she cried. "Please know that."

Brooke tossed and turned in her bed and the horrifying call from that night replayed in her head.

_Flashback_

Brooke grabbed her phone from her purse. "Who is calling me at 1 in the morning?" she whispered to herself. She glanced at the top of the celland Nathan's name showed up. "Why is he calling me?" she asked herself as she answered the phone.

"Nathan there better be a Damn good reason for why your calling me right now,"Brooke yelled from the receiving end.

"Lucas is dead," he whispered in a low hoarse tone.

"What?" she asked in a shocked tone. She wasn't sure if this was a joke or not, if it was it was a sick one! Who would joke about that?

"He's dead Brooke," cried Nathan. Nathan choked on his own words and broke out in tears.

"What are you talking about?" she asked frantically. Her heart began racing, this can't be real .

"I...I...," Nathan couldn't get the words out.

"Tell me your lying?" cried Brooke. "Please tell me this is some sick twisted joke."

"I wish it was." he cried through the phone.

Brooke began to cry loudly now, this couldn't be happening. Not with the way they left things. Lucas couldn't be gone! "Nooo..." she screamed.

"I fell through the ice, he got me out but by the time Keith pulled him out he had already drowned," informed Nathan. "It was all my fault, I didn't mean to," cried Nathan.

Brooke was swarmed with questions. Why would he fall through the ice? Why was Keith there? Was Nathan ok? Where was Lucas? Why did this happen to her? Did he say anything about Brooke before he died? Was it painful for him? Where were they at now? Did he hate her so much that he just let go and died? Brooke dropped the phone on the ground and fell to her knees in tears. This couldn't be happening, Lucas couldn't be gone.

_Reality_

Brooke closed her eyes and tried blocking out all of those bad images. They just made her more upset. That night was the worst night of her life and she didn't want to remember it! Christmas was now her least favorite holiday because it would always be the day Lucas died. It was a sign that the new year would bring nothing but sadness. She tried listening to the rain but all she could concentrate on was the loud sobbing across the hall.

Haley took the news just as bad as everyone else, maybe even worse. Just like Brooke that night brought nothing but sadness. Haley lost her best friend and husband in the same night. Brooke knew Haley and Nathan had this big blowout but she wasn't sure what about.

Brooke got up off her bed and walked across the hall to Haley's room. When the door opened Haley looked up at the still figure standing at her door. Brooke walked to Haley's bed and laid down next to her.

Haley looked at Brooke all teary eyed. "I miss him Brooke," she cried.

Brooke hugged her tightly. "Me too."

"Lucas and me were always together, he was my best friend," cried Haley. "Who am I going to go and cry to now? Who is going to listen to me wine all day and tell me everything will be ok? Who am I going to stay up all night with and just talk with? I need Lucas, he can't be gone." Haley broke free from Brooke's hug and dug her head into her pillow.

Brooke laid back on Haley's bed, "I can't be cheery without my broody,"she whispered.

_**Meanwhile**_

Karen walked through her kitchen and down the narrow hallway to her room. She stopped at Lucas's room before she made it to hers. There was no blaring music, no pages of books being turned, it was silent. That was the worst part! Karen slowly turned the door knob to reveal a dark room. She slowly walked inside, her heart beating a million times pr second. Looking around the room reminded her so much of her son. The open books spread over the bed, cd's scattered across the table, a closet filled with sweatshirts.

"Lucas Eugine Scott!" Karen screamed loudly. "How could you do this to me? Come back to me this instance! Now!" She began to whimper and her knees bucked underneath her. She could no longer stand so she fell to the ground in tears. "Don't you dare do this to me. I order you to come back now."

All she wanted was her son back. She just wanted to hold him in her arms. Was that so much to ask?

Keith walked in Lucas's room and joined Karen on the floor."It's ok," he comforted as he griped her in his arms and stroked her back.

"No mother should have to bury her son," she cried. "Lucas was my baby."

Keith didn't know what to say because he was equally in shock. He just tried his hardest to make Karen feel better, she had to be in pain. No person should have to go through the pain of losing a loved one. Lucas was so young, he was a great kid! Keith loved the boy as his own. He just wished he was able to tell Lucas that. He felt so bad for yelling at him the last time he saw him. After he left he realized Lucas only did what he did because he cared. Lucas cared about everyone.

He was a hero!

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_People reach their breaking points and refuse to deal anymore. Who will be there to stop them before they do something stupid?_


	4. failing to move on

_Hope everone likes my new chap! lots of drama to come i promise! Please review..thanks..chad you rule and I love ya!_

_Also I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my bf Adam..your a sweetheart and thanks for making valentines day perfect for me baby! Love ys lots!_

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_**2 weeks later**_

Time passed and everyone dealt as best as they could with Lucas being gone. Winter break was over and it was time to return to high school and suffer through whatever boring lectures were planned. Or for some just sleep through them.

"Nathan get up you have school," yelled Debb.

Nathan jammed his pillow over his head and tried to ignore his mom's orders. He wasn't ready to face school yet. He had slept most of his break away and ignored everyone around him. He groaned as he heard the loud footsteps of his mom coming up the stairs.

"Nathan honey you have to get up," Debb said as she shook Nathan out his sleep. "You have to get out the house you have been cooped up her since Luke's funeral."

"Leave me alone," groaned Nathan.

"Not until you get up and get ready for school," insisted Debb.

"I'm not going," moaned Nathan, still not opening his eyes.

Debb felt bad for her son. He was hurting and she didn't know what to do that would make it better. She sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his back softly.

"Lucas would have wanted you to move on with you're life," she said softly trying not to upset him. "He wouldn't have wanted you to waste away in your room forever."

Nathan moved his pillow from his face and met his mom's eyes. "How do I move on mom?" Nathan asked as he held back the tears that were forcing their way out. "He was my brother and I treated him like Shit. He was always there for me and I always was a jerk. He died for me mom."

Debb grabbed Nate in a hug. "I know it hurts baby but you need to find a way to say goodbye," she insisted. "He's gone baby and you cant do anything to change that."

Nathan remained silent as his mom comforted him.

"Going to school is the first step to moving on," added Debb. "You're friends will be there to talk to. Haley too! You can help each other through the hardest of times. Please go and get out the house sweety. Try to move on a little."

"I'll try," agreed Nathan.

_**meanwhile...**_

Peyton pulled up to school, got out her car and refused to talk to any of her friends. Everyone she cared about ended up leaving her so she just decided being alone was her best bet. It would save herself the pain of losing another person she loved.

She walked quickly through the doors at Tree hill high never looking back at Brooke or Haley. They were positioned on the picnic booth outside.

Brooke turned away in sadness when her best friend just passed her up without even words. She knew Peyton took it hard when Luke died but that didn't just excuse the fact that she dropped everyone with the flick of a hat. She wasn't the only one hurting.

"School won't be the same anymore," commented Haley.

Brooke just nodded, whenever they talked about Lucas it just upset her. It had been 2 weeks and still when ever his name was brought up she found herself in tears.

"Me and Karen are fixing up his grave later," Haley said softly. "You want to help?"

"I'm kind of busy," lied Brooke.

"Doing what?" snapped Haley.

"Um...cheerleading practice," she answered.

"Oh," Haley said meanly." Excuse me for asking I just figured Lucas was more important then throwing a pair of pom poms in the air," Haley got up from the bench. "My mistake." Haley left without another word and headed for class. Everyone had been really snappy and on edge lately.

"Haley," yelled Brooke. It was to late though she had already started into the building. It wasn't that cheering was more important to her, hell it was the last thing on her mind! She just couldn't bring herself to his grave, she wasn't ready to face the obvious yet. She could barley look at a picture of him without bursting into tears, it was just too soon.

meanwhile...

Nathan walked down the bridge on the way to school, the one Lucas always took. It was quiet and he was all alone, the way he wanted it. He kicked a small stone down the pavement as he walked. He had kicked it too hard and it rolled off the edge. Nathan just sighed and leaned against the guardrail. Looking over the edge was surreal, it was so high!

He took a deep breath of the fresh air, and looked down. Ice was frozen over the water completely. As he spotted it it brought back images from that night. Images he would rather forget.

**Flashback**

"Lucas breathe," cried Nathan.

Keith shook Lucas hard and blowed air into his lungs. "Come on kid breathe."

Nathan grabbed Luke's arm in his hand. It was limp and lifeless which frightened him. "Breathe Dammit," screamed Nathan.

"The ambulance are here," yelled Keith.

A group of paramedics came running across the court to Luke's aid. A tall lean guy knelled next to him and felt for a pulse."No pulse," Nathan remembered the guy screaming to his partners.

Nathan and Keith watched in awe as the paramedics tried frantically to revive Lucas. Nothing looked to be working. They watched as Lucas slipped away as the seconds passed, drifting into a never ending sleep.

The paramedics leaned back in defeat. The tall guy looked back to Nathan and Keith in comfort. Both Nathan and Keith knew it was over.

"This can't happen,"Nathan freaked. " NO."

Keith grabbed the young boy in his arms and tried comforting the hurting boy. "It's ok," he whispered as Nathan cried into his chest.

"It should have been me," cried Nathan. "It should have been me not him."

"Shhhh...don't say that,' said Keith. "It wasn't you're fault there was nothing else we could have done."

**Reality**

Nathan found himself stepping on the guardrail when he snapped out his thoughts. His feet were stepping up on the metal and he was holing onto a beam. He was literally leaned over the edge.

Nathan looked over the edge. It would end all the pain if he just jumped. He would be with his brother and be happy.

He reluctantly stepped back. His feet were planted on firm ground again. He grabbed his back back from the ground and started walking to school again. He couldn't believe he actually considered jumping!

_It's back to school and emotions are on the edge. Haley tries talking to Nathan, Peyton further and further from reality. Can Brooke bring herself to acknowledge Lucas or will she keep avoiding anything involving him? Can Nathan move on with his life or is he just moving backwards?_


	5. school day of tears and hell

_Hello everone I know it's been a long wait for my stories but believe me none of the m have lost my mind..im just so busy with my sports and now i have drivers training..thats been for the last 2 weeks one to go and then i can write some more. I DONT GET HOME UNTIL 10:00 EVERY NIGHT SO YEAH and then somethimes i have to do homework so yeah anyways..i will get all of them posted really soon! _

_please read and review this chapter its ok i guess but it could be better! hope you like it! Thanks to all of you who read and review! Lots of Naley drama! plus to those of you who are upset because I had Lucas die don't worry! Lucas is my #1 character and I LOVE HIM so expect him to return one way or another!_

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Nathan walked through the crowded doors of Tree Hill High for the 1st time since the accident. He just couldn't push away the feeling guilt knowing that he was able to go on with his own life without his brother. Things just didn't feel the same.

With each step down the hall he heard whispers and chuckles from his classmates. These were people who before he would have cared what they thought of him but now it didn't even bother his lifeless shell of a body. He passed everyone up and almost made it to his locker until a goddess of all woman crossed his path, Haley. Given to others she was but mere average but to him she was nothing less than perfect. She just had an act for breaking his heart. Now he was face to face with his solemate, the controller of what was left of the lifeless thing beating inside his chest.

"Hey Nate," Haley said in almost a whisper.

"Hales," he retorted.

"How are you doing?" she worried. "I haven't seen you since the funeral."

"I've been busy," lied Nathan as he forged on toward his locker. Haley followed him close behind though.

"That's nice, you should keep busy given the circumstances," insured Haley.

"Given what circumstances?" screamed Nathan letting his bottled up emotion take control. "The fact that I had to watch my brother die for me or the fact that you cant seem to keep to one guy?"

"Nathan that's not fair, I already told you Chris kissed me," defended Haley.

Little did anyone know that Nathan and Lucas were both heartbroken that night when Chris had stole their woman.

"I don't need excuses." he insured. "I need a wife who is there for me."

"Nathan I'm sorry, but I can't control what Chris does," apologized Haley.

"Yeah but you can control what you do," Nathan said turning and opening the combination on his locker.

"That day was a disaster for everyone," cried Haley. "I lost my best friend that day, please don't make that the day I lost you too."

Nathan turned and searched her eyes, yet anger raged in his own as he thought back to the morning he saw her kiss the devil. The morning that later that day lead to the demise of his older brother.

_**Flashback**_

Nathan planned a big breakfast to surprise Haley, it was Christmas eve and considering their financial status he had to make the best of what he had. He couldn't buy her much but he did intend on making this day special to her in any way he could muster up. They had just begun being a couple again since she had returned from tour and he was loving it.

Nathan placed the homemade waffles and pancakes on the table next to the already cooked bacon, eggs, and sausage . He searched his watch as he sat down and waited. It was 8:30am, a half an hour later then the time Haley said she'd be home.

Nate walked up to the window as he heard sounds of laughing from outside. His assumptions were right as he saw Haley walking up the driveway next to Chris.

"Yay, my cd is being published," Haley said joyously.

Nathan couldn't hear their entire conversation from inside the house but he caught what he could by reading their lips through the window.

"You would have even more if you stayed on tour," snapped Chris.

"Well I got Nathan back so that's all that really matters," argued Haley.

"He's holding you back Haley," argued Chris.

"I love Nathan so I don't care," spoke Haley firmly.

Nathan watched the scene fold out in front of the window. He was tempted to go outside but he wasn't completely sure if they were arguing or just talking.

"Haley you can do so much better than him," urged Chris. He grinned to himself spotting Nathan at the window watching them.

"If you insult my husband one more time I'm going to kick you so hard that you wont ever be able to reproduce any little Chris's some day," demanded Haley.

Without letting Haley get in one more word Chris lifted her tightly in his arms and smashed his lips against hers. She tried struggling and breaking free but her held her too tight. Nathan bust a few blood vessels as he watched the scene play out in front of him. Chris secretly knowing what he was doing.

Nathan jolted his head around and whipped the plate of waffles off the table. the glass plate shattered on the floor sending the homemade waffles in every direction. A small tear slid down his cheek as he realized thing would never be the same for him and Haley no matter how hard they tried.

Outside the window Haley slapped Chris across the face and went running inside. Chris stood there rubbing his cheek and feeling like he did something wort wild for the day!

Haley slowly opened the front door and entered the kitchen hoping Nathan didn't see anything."Nathan I'm home," she yelled.

Nathan stood there fuming in the kitchen.

Haley walked into the kitchen and by the look on his face she knew he saw Chris kiss her. "Nathan it's not what you think."

"What did it mean then?" asked Nathan trying not to jump to conclusions and trust her.

"Nothing, I promise he pushed me into it," told Haley. She looked at the bundles of food spread across the table. "Is this for me?" asked Haley.

"It was," answered Nathan still really angry.

Haley walked up to Nathan calmly and wrapped her arms around his waist trying to ensure him she still wanted him. "Nathan don't you believe me?"

"Fine, his ass is mine though," promised Nathan."Sit down, the food is getting cold, if it's too cold I could warm it for you."

"I'm sorry Nathan Chris kinda took me out for a celebration breakfast this morning," Haley said feeling horrible for having had him go through all this trouble. "I'm stuffed."

Nathan wanted to storm out the apartment but he cared too much about her. "It's fine I guess."

"Oh I'm sorry baby," promised Haley. "I'll make it up to you."

"Really?" he asked sexier. "Why don't we start now then?" He picked her up in his arms and swung her on his back. "You in?" He didn't want to start a fight over something as stupid as Chris on Christmas eve.

Haley felt a huge swarm of guilt wash over her. "I can't right now Nate."

Nathan's smile turned into a saddened expression. He lowered her off his back and faced her. "Why?"

Haley hesitated knowing what she had to say wasn't going to make him happy.

"Why?" he asked again hoping she would actually stay with him on Christmas eve.

"Well I have to meet Chris in a half and hour to work on this bonus track we adding to the album," Answered Haley sadly. She felt really horrible at that moment after all he went through. She didn't want to leave him but they only had a week to get the song into the album .

"YOU'RE GOING BACK TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIM?" screamed Nathan letting his anger out finally.

"We can do anything you want later," promised Haley. "I just have to get this song in."

"I just wanted to spend Christmas eve with my wife but apparently that's asking for too much so whatever," screamed Nathan. "Have a good time with Chris." Nathan stormed out the front door.

_**End of flashback**_

"You sent me away that day," screamed Nathan. The crowded hallway slowly got quiet.

"I'm sorry," apologized Haley. "I didn't wake up trying to hurt you that day."

"I'm sorry isn't going to bring him back," yelled Nathan. "If you didn't go off with Chris that morning I wouldn't have stormed off. Lucas died!"

"I know he died," Haley broke out into tears. "It's killing me just as much as you Nathan. I grew up with him since I was a kid so don't act like he didn't mean anything to me,"

"Lucas died saving me, he died saving me from all the hurt you caused me over the last year," screamed Nathan.

By now the entire hallway was listening in on their conversation. Brooke was standing near her locker listening to the fight break out and Peyton was near the drinking fountain listening too.

"He's not coming back Nathan, as much as we want him to he's not," she cried. "Lucas isn't coming back."

Brooke took off the lock on her locker and slowly opened the door to be reminded of Lucas. Pictures of him and her together filled her locker, a memory of what they had. She slammed the locker tight and took deep breaths. She forgot about that. She found herself crying again, something she had promised herself to try and stop. Lately that just seemed impossible though. She ran off to the bathroom with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Peyton watched as her former best friend ran off into the bathroom. She couldn't help but feel bad for her. She wanted to comfort Brooke but that would mean getting close to her and maybe the loss of another person she loved down the line. She decided to just listen to the fight breaking out between Nathan and Haley in the hallway.

"It's you're fault he's gone," blamed Nathan.

"You don't mean that," cried Haley.

"Yes I do, he's dead because of you." Nathan continued blaming. "I will never forgive you for that."

Haley couldn't believe he was blaming her for Lucas being dead. She ran off down the hallway too and stormed into the bathroom heartbroken.

Peyton exchanged glances with Nathan as he walked off towards the exit at school. He barged through the entrance doors in which he came through no less than a half hour ago. The day definitely didn't start off good. Peyton grabbed her bag too and stormed out the school following Nathan, she didn't feel like living through another gossip filled day at Tree Hill high!

Haley jammed herself in the bathroom stall and cried like a little girl. Brooke was right in the stall beside her doing the same.

"Tutor girl is that you?" cried Brooke.

"Brooke," Haley said in between tears. "What are you doing in here?"

"For the same reason you are," Brooke whispered in between her own muffled cries.

"The Scott brothers?" asked Haley.

"One of them," cried Brooke.

Things stayed silent for a few. Other than a few girls in and out of the bathroom no sounds really came from Brooke and Haley. They both knew eachother were crying in the opposite stall though. After letting out their cries for about an hour or so Brooke stood up on the toilet and looked into Haley's stall.

"Can I help you Brooke?" laughed Haley a little. She looked up at Brooke for the toilet she was sitting on.

"You still mad at me?" asked Brooke.

"About what?" Haley asked confused.

"Because I said I had to go to cheer practice and I couldn't make it to Luke's grave with you and Karen." answered Brooke.

"No, I just was a little upset because I thought Lucas meant more than cheer practice," stated Haley.

Brooke jumped off the toilet and unlocked her bathroom stall. She walked to Haley's door."Open up."

Haley unlatched her own door and let Brooke in. Brooke sat on the dirty floor and puled Haley down too.

"Did you have to pull me down so hard?" joked Haley.

"Lucas does mean more to me," Brooke said avoiding her last comment.

"Why wont you come to his grave with me then?" asked Haley confused.

"I can't bring myself to his grave when I cant even bear to hear the sound of his name," Brooke said starting to cry again. She ran her fingers across the tiles on the floor."I opened my locker and all the decorations he put in there when we were non-exclusive were in there. Brooke was panting now that she had starting crying again. I broke down when I saw that Hales. I can't stop crying because I miss him so much. I miss my Broody so much that I don't know how to keep going. She broke down with those words. Tears streamed down her cheeks again and she cried into Haley. I just miss him Haley, I want him back."

"Shhh," Haley tried comforting Brooke but it didn't help much because she found herself crying too. "I wasn't him back too."

"He hated me so much that night Haley, we had that big fight, he died thinking I wasn't there for him," Brooke cried even harder. "I never got the chance to make up with him, he hated me!"

"Lucas didn't hate you Brooke," cried Haley. "Lucas loved you with all his heart."

"Just like Nathan loves you," added Brooke trying to make Haley feel better too,

"No Nathan thinks this is all my fault and I'm the cause for Lucas dieing," cried Haley. "He never want's to talk to me again either."

"He'll come around he's just upset right now," assured Brooke.

"I think I really lost him this time Brooke, you should have seen the look Nathan gave me," continued Haley. He looked at me with disgust in his eyes."

"Why do guys always leave?" cried Brooke.

"Because we push the m away," cried Haley.

"Well I didn't mean to push Lucas away," said Brooke.

"Me either," agreed Haley. "The worst part is is that the same time last year when I'd be crying on the bathroom floor he's be the one next to me making me feel better."

"I want him back," ordered Brooke.

"Me too," said Haley.

Can Nathan move on or will his bottled up guilt drive the ones he loves away and himself off the deep end? Will Peyton open herself up to anyone? Does Karen find comfort with something? or shall I say someone? Can the dead really come back?


	6. Ex lovers talk things over

_Long time no see I know... havent ud this in a while becase I wasn't sure if anyone was really interested... if you still are please let me know and review... thanks_

* * *

Nathan stormed off down the steps at school. He couldn't handle being in that loud building anymore. He needed to be somewhere alone, somewhere quiet. He found himself running across the high school parking lot and along the crowned streets of Tree Hill. He was running to the _bridge. _The _bridge_ that he ran to each and every day since that horrible night near the water, the bridge that provided comfort yet gruesome memories as well.

Peyton kept a long enough distance away from Nathan to avoid being seen. She wasn't sure if she was going to talk to him quite yet. Curiosity kept her following him however.

When Nathan headed off down the road she quickly hopped in her car and followed him out the parking lot. He was jogging at a pretty quick pace down the street. As fast as her car went it was still hard keeping up with him as he ran through the crowds of pedestrians.

As each car whizzed by and as people shoved their way past him Nathan felt his anger rage. He still wasn't aware that his curly haired ex-girlfriend was on his trail. When he eventually did arrive at the _bridge_ he took in a deep breath or two and checked his surroundings.

Meanwhile Peyton was busy racing into a driveway to avoid being seen.

Nathan didn't see his ex and continued his routine. He stepped onto the metal guardrail of the bridge and looked over. About 150 feet down laid the water that took his brothers life. Out of all the places that could give him some sort of relaxation this was it. He felt horrible for treating Haley so meanly earlier this morning. She insisted on talking to him tough she had to press her luck. Apparently he reached his breaking point and lashed out, a typical behavior of someone grieving.

Peyton peered through a bush at Nathan. Of all places she wondered why he came here.

Nathan slowly leaned more and more over the railing pressing his luck. It would be easier right? He couldn't hurt any more people he cared about and he would be where he was suppose to be. He would be dead! That was the plan after all. It wasn't supposed to be Lucas that died it was meant to be him.

"What is he doing?" Peyton asked herself as she watched Nathan lean over the iron poles guarding the cliff.

"I will all be easier!" Nathan kept telling himself.

**Meanwhile…**

Karen caught herself glancing at her son's wood door from the kitchen table. She just waited for him to come barging through the doors at the smell of her bacon cooking.

_(Flashback)_

Karen was busy flipping the slices of bacon in her frying pan when Lucas came barging through the kitchen.

"Hey mom," Lucas greeted reaching for some of the cooling bacon.

"No," she snapped.

"Aww mom, I love you," Lucas tried buttering her up.

"I love you too Lucas but you have to wait just like I told Keith," she insisted.

"Wait for what?" asked Lucas. "I wasn't doing anything but wishing my mom a good morning. Is that a crime now?"

"Uh huh," laughed Karen. "I believe you."

"Hey Luke," greeted Keith waking through the front door with the newspaper and a gallon of milk in the other hand.

"Morning uncle Keith, "Lucas replied as he reached for a piece of the bacon on the serving plate again.

"No," Karen said slapping her teenaged son's hand gently with the spatula. "Scram, I'll call you when it's ready."

"Please," begged Lucas placing his lips in a pout. "I'm starving to death here."

Keith laughed at his nephew's attempts as he put the milk in the refrigerator. "You know she won't budge," told Keith. "You've tried hundreds of times kid." He gave Luke a wink signaling their scheme.

Lucas smiled back as he helped put the plan into action.

"Ok mom, I understand and I'll wait," he gave in. "Can I give you a hug though?" He wrapped his arms around Karen and faced her away from the bacon.

"I love you ma," he said signaling Keith with his hand. Keith reached out and grabbed three large juicy pieces of freshly cooked bacon.

Karen gave Lucas a suspicious look as he released her from his hug. She knew his little scheme.

"You can put the bacon back now Keith, I'm not stupid I know you two took some," realized Karen.

Keith sighed knowing he'd been caught. "You're on your own kid." He put the bacon back and sat back down at the kitchen table smirking in defeat with one single slice stashed under his sleeve.

Lucas turned in disappointment and headed towards his room when his mom called his name.

"Lucas," called Karen.

Luke turned and faced her.

"I love you too," she threw him a single slice and smiled.

Lucas caught it and ate it in one big smiling mouthful.

"Hey can I have a piece too?" Jumped in Keith stepping up behind her.

"Why don't you eat the piece under you're sleeve first," Karen said playfully glaring his way.

Keith and Lucas let out laughs.

"You knew about that huh?" he said guiltily.

_(End of Flashback)_

"Luke would have already had the bacon gone," Karen said disappointed.

"Naw you wouldn't have let him," laughed Keith. "The warden always cracked down hard on him when it came to eating all the bacon and sausage."

"Well don't worry now, you get to eat it all up," Karen mentioned sadly taking her eyes off Luke's door and placing them on Keith. "He's not here anymore."

Keith scooted his chair next to hers and wrapped her in a loving hug. "He's still with us Karen, I can feel him."

**Meanwhile…**

Nathan thought hard about his life. Was it even worth sticking around for anymore? All he had to show for was a wife that left him, a mom that only stuck around when it was convenient, an asshole of a father, and a bunch of friends who were suffering too much in their own damn lives to even give a shit about him anymore.

He had basketball of course but was shooting a ball through a hoop really that substantial? Was it worth hanging around for a lousy game?

Without Haley he had no one to love and Lucas gave him his challenge. Who else was there to do those things for him? All that was left was an empty shell of a person. The only thing he felt lately was guilt and anger. Each time he came to the bridge he drifted further and further from the people he loved and the life he once had.

He looked around and still the coast was clear, there was no one in sight!

"Nathan wait!" screamed Peyton running up to him unsure of what he might attempt next.

Nathan jumped back off the railing in shock, where had Peyton come from? How much had she seen him do?

"What are you doing Nate?" pressed Peyton.

"Just letting loose, sightseeing a little," lied Nathan unable to look her in the eyes.

"I'm not stupid Nathan, I dated you long enough to know when you're lying," concluded Peyton.

"Yeah I guess so," he said turning away from her and looking over the railing again.

"What were you just doing?" she questioned again.

"Nothing important," he lied once again.

"It's not going to solve anything," she said grabbing his arm.

"What won't?" jerked Nathan.

"What you're doing to you're self and the people who care about you," she answered. "You're letting Haley slip away Nathan."

"Look who is talking," defended Nathan. "You're the one avoiding everyone, you're the one who is hiding in your own depression."

"I'm taking about you right now Nathan," responded Peyton. "I'm not the one trying to kill myself."

"What are you talking about?" avoided Nathan. "I wasn't going to kill myself."

"What were you doing leaning over the edge of a 150 foot bridge then?" snapped Peyton.

Nathan tried thinking up a lie but none came to mind. He ended up sticking with his original lie instead. "I was just sightseeing."

"You're way too hard on you're self," told Peyton.

"Well I deserve it," broke Nathan.

"It's not you're fault he died, no one blames you either," revealed Peyton.

"Yeah well, if I had listened to him instead of acting like an ass he would still be here," Nathan said.

"That may be true but punishing yourself isn't going to solve anything." She whispered coming closer to him. "Lucas did what he did because he loved you and wanted you to live."

"I was horrible to him though, I was so mean." Said Nathan starting to break down. "I should have been the one to die not him."

"Don't say that," Peyton said wrapping him in a hug.

"I told him I hated him but I didn't," cried Nathan hugging her back.

Peyton remained silent trying to comfort him.

"I didn't mean it," Nathan cried into her shoulder. "I didn't mean what I said to him." He started bawling now and letting it all out. Peyton just hugged him tighter refusing to let him go.

"Shh," she whispered.

"I swear I didn't mean it Luke," cried Nathan hugging Peyton close. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said!"

"Shh," she hushed softly. "Calm down."

"I'm so sorry," he cried.

"He knows Nathan, he knows," comforted Peyton.

* * *

_Next chapter (Arriving in Heaven)_

_What do you think that means?_

_Can the dead really return?_


	7. Ariving in Heaven

**Arriving in Heaven-**

**please read and review

* * *

**

Lucas woke up in a blurry inconstant state. He opened his eyes only to spot the white fogginess around him. He laid flat on his back on something. It wasn't hard like ground it was more soft, unearth like.

He sat up and looked around. He saw someone unfamiliar, someone that looked as if he were floating far away.

He squinted his eyes, closed them and reopened them. The floating person didn't disappear. It floated in front of him, looking him dead on.

"What the hell?" Lucas said backing up. He scooted, and somewhat crawled away from the person. They just stood straight though, not fazed by his fear.

"Don't fear me Lucas," the voice told him. The voice sounded masculine.

"How do you know my name?" questioned Lucas.

"I know all," the voice answered.

"Where am I?" he questioned.

"On you're way to heaven," he answered blankly.

"Ha Ha," mocked Lucas sarcastically. "Twisted dream right?" He looked around but all he saw was the floating guy and a swarm of grey puffs.

"No son, you died and moved on here," the voice corrected.

Lucas stared blankly at the man; he didn't know what to think. He just figured he was dreaming and the man was just a figment of his imagination.

The man began floating to Lucas.

Lucas's eyes shot open like beams, all he could focus on was the fact he was floating towards him not walking.

"My name is Darien, I'm you're guardian," the man told. He reached out his hand to Lucas.

Lucas shot up and began running away. He wasn't taking any chances; anyone who floated wasn't someone he wanted to get to know! The man was a crazy ass. He ran straight; all he could see was fog. He turned his head to see if the man was following him but he spotted no one. Instead he ran into something and fell back down. He looked up and there stood the man in front of him.

"Ahhh…" Lucas screamed backing up. "What in the hell are you?"

"I'm a guardian angel, I direct the weary souls to the gates," he answered. He didn't seem the least bit annoyed with Lucas, as stubborn as he was being.

"Prove it," snapped Lucas.

Darien lifted up his arm and Lucas felt his legs standing up forcefully. He now stood.

"How did you do that?" Lucas freaked looking down at his legs.

"I'm an angel," he smiled. "You'll be one soon too so don't worry."

"I don't like this dream," realized Lucas.

"I'm sorry you are not dreaming, that's for mortals," insisted Darien.

"Mortals, interesting word you use," laughed Lucas slightly nervous.

Darien held out his hand again to Lucas.

Lucas didn't return the gesture. He wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Darien took back his hand and smiled. "I understand."

"You understand what?" asked Lucas.

"That you don't believe yet," he answered. "It's a mortal trade."

"Well it was nice meeting you and all but my mom probably is freaking out because I haven't come home yet." said Lucas. "So see ya." He turned but now Darien faced the other way.

"Turning from me does nothing," whispered Darien. "I was once like you."

Lucas sighed. He pinched his arm, twisted it. Surprisingly he didn't wake up and what was more surreal is that he felt no pain.

"You were a good kid, I feel proud to be you're angel Lucas," insisted Darien.

Lucas stared Darien in the eye. He was starting to get the eerie feeling he wasn't dreaming.

"You're brother lived incase you were wondering," Darien whispered again. "You succeeded in saving him."

Lucas's head now pounded. He didn't feel the greatest.

"I'll show you if you want," Darien insisted.

"I don't know what you're talking about," yelled Lucas. "I'd appreciate if you left me the hell alone too." He held his head in his hands as it throbbed.

Darien lowered his head and stared at the ground.

Lucas's head pounded harder. His eyes watered, he saw something. It was Nathan. He was kneeling next to someone in the distance.

Lucas walked up closer and stared at his brother. Keith was there next to him. He still couldn't focus on the body lying on the ground. He had a feeling who it was though.

He watched as Nathan shivered and stared at the body on the ground. He didn't yell out for his brother, deep down he knew Nathan wouldn't be able to hear him. He looked back at Darien, his head was still down.

Lucas walked closer to the image of his brother and Keith. God he hadn't seen Keith since the whole Jules incident. Keith had been so mad at him!

As he walked closer he saw who the body was. His stomach curled, he felt like throwing up.

**_"Breathe," Nathan was crying. _**

**_Keith looked back at the ambulance. _**

**_"No!" screamed Nathan. _**

****

Lucas felt like crying now too.

**_"It should have been me," screamed Nathan. "I killed him." _**

****

"No Nate," cried Lucas. "Don't say that."

**_Keith grabbed Nathan in his arms, they cried as Lucas was taken away in the ambulance. _**

****

Lucas was crying hard. "No!" he screamed.

Darien lifted up his head and looked at Lucas.

"I can't be dead," yelled Lucas. "I'm only seventeen."

"Teenagers die too Lucas," Darien said sadly.

"I drowned last night didn't I?" asked Lucas.

"No, you drowned about a month ago," told Darien.

"How is my mom?" cried Lucas. "How is Brooke?"

"They are taking you're loss as to be expected," told Darien.

"I didn't get to talk to Brooke though, we were fighting, "cried Lucas.

"I'm sorry son," Darien told. "What's done is done."

"I have to go back, I need to see if they are ok," cried Lucas. He was now in full belief. "There has to be a way."

"There is but it's not a good idea," told Darien. "You need to move on, you're family will join you in time."

"No," yelled Lucas.

"Let me guide you," begged Darien.

Lucas didn't respond.

Darien let out his hand again. "Going back will only bring more pain, come with me."

"I want to see my family," yelled Lucas. "You can show them to me."

"I can't I'm sorry," whined Darien.

"You can you showed me that night, you can and you know it," yelled Lucas.

Darien frowned.

"Take me back please," cried Lucas.

"You can go back but they won't be able to see you," said Darien. "You'll be stuck there in a ghostly form."

"I have to talk to them," begged Lucas. "Please"

"I can't make you come with me," insisted Darien.

"I want to go back," yelled Lucas.

"I can let you, but I can't go back," told Darien. "It's against the rules."

"What do I do then?" asked Lucas excited for his second chance.

"When you're ready to come with me look for the light kid," told Darien. "The rest I'll take care of."

"They won't be able to see me though?" asked Lucas.

Darien nodded his head no.

"Is there any way to communicate?" asked Lucas.

Darien smiled. "You'll have to figure that out yourself."

Lucas accepted.

"Good luck, when you're ready remember to look for me in the light," he whispered.

Lucas nodded. "I can't believe this is all real."

"Just relax, close you're eyes Luke," told Darien.

Lucas did as he was told.

Before he knew it he wasn't in the same place like before, the fog was gone. Now he was face down on a bed. He looked up and saw the walls of his bedroom.

"GOOD LUCK," he heard Darien's voice echo in his head.

* * *

**_Dun dun dun… please read and review. If you're not into the whole ghost thing I'm sorry this story will have a lot of it. I had to find some way to bring back my Lucas._**


	8. Reality isn't so nice

_**I hope some of you are still reading this, I figured I'd update incase somebody is. There is a lot of spiritual stuff in here so if you're not into that you might not want to read!**_

_**Please tell me if you want me to continue of if you like the new chapter.**_

_-------------_

_**Last chapter recap **_

"_I have to go back, I need to see if they are ok," cried Lucas. He was now in full belief. "There has to be a way."_

"_You can go back but they won't be able to see you," said Darien. "You'll be stuck there in a ghostly form."_

"_Just relax, close you're eyes Luke," told Darien._

_Lucas did as he was told. _

_Before he knew it he wasn't in the same place like before, the fog was gone. Now he was face down on a bed. He looked up and saw the walls of his bedroom._

"_GOOD LUCK," he heard Darien's voice echo in his head._

_-----------------_

Lucas woke up in his room from what he hoped to be a freaky dream. It had to be a messed up dream, he couldn't be dead!

"MOM!" Lucas yelled from his bedroom. He jumped up and ran through the open door of his room and looked for his mom. He found her at the sink washing dishes.

"Mom, you wouldn't believe the crazy dream I just had," rambled Lucas trying to explain it to her.

He grew irritated when she never turned and acknowledged him.

"MOM, are you even listening to me?" bugged Lucas.

Still she didn't reply.

He reached for her shoulder; she turned around instead and walked the other way.

"Mom," he said following her. "Are you mad at me or something?" he questioned.

She turned around and looked straight at him.

"Finally," laughed Lucas. "I was beginning to think my dream may have not been a dream."

Lucas reached for his mom, he went to touch her shoulder but instead his hand soared through her arm and came out tingling immensely.

Karen leaped forward and walked right through Lucas and to the front door.

"AHHH," Lucas screamed in awe by what happened. "What the fuck was that?"

Karen ran to the front door and opened it. Someone had been knocking loudly.

When Karen opened the door Haley came barging through.

Lucas watched as his mother embraced his best friend in a big hug. He now noticed when his mom faced him that her eyes were bloodshot and her face had appeared to age immensely from the last time he laid eyes on her. Haley looked warn out, Lucas could tell she also was in distress.

"I heard about Nathan," Karen cried. "Debb called me; she said she's keeping a watchful eye on him."

"Yeah, she called me too after Peyton brought him home," spoke Haley. "I can't believe he tried to kill himself."

Lucas listened intently. "Why would Nathan try and kill himself?"

Lucas walked up to the two girls and tried asking Haley what was going on. Maybe he just imagined his mom walking through him before. He had imagined things before, it was definitely possible.

"Haley, what's going on?" he asked.

"I don't know what's real anymore," said Haley. "I mean everyone has become so detached since Lucas died."

Lucas looked up at his friend frightened by what he had just heard. "No," he insisted. It wasn't real! The dream was not real! He kept trying to insure himself he wasn't dead.

"Haley, I'm not dead I'm right here," spoke Lucas. Deep down he knew Haley wouldn't respond.

"I just miss him so much Karen," Haley began crying.

Lucas watched as his mother embraced Haley. Lucas was tempted to hug her too but he didn't need another tingling sensation, like what happened when he tried touching his mother.

"I miss him to sweetie," Karen comforted rubbing Haley's hair.

"You have Keith still though, I lost Lucas and Nathan in one night," bawled Haley.

"You didn't lose Nathan sweetie, he wont stay mad forever." insisted Karen. "He's just as heartbroken as the rest of us. He needs time to take it all in before he can work things out with you."

"You didn't lose me either," whispered Lucas.

"I just miss my best friend though, and I needed my husband to be there for me," cried Haley.

Karen led Haley to the sofa where they both sat down.

Lucas, in his ghostly form followed both girls and sat down next to them on the couch. He still couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Keep trying Haley, let him know you're there for him too," insisted Karen.

Haley looked up and nodded. "Yeah," she tried agreed wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry Karen, I know I shouldn't break down on you, you're going through so much."

"You were like a daughter to me Haley," insisted Karen. "I lost my son; I was hoping I still had my daughter."

Haley hugged Karen tightly. "You always have me Karen."

Lucas stood up and ran towards the door. He ran right through it. He couldn't sit there and listen to their conversation anymore; it was really getting to him. He had to get away.

He soared down the street running. He never thought he could run so fast, he didn't think he ever ran so fast in his life. Running helped before he just hoped it would help him now.

He didn't know at first where he was going but he did when he arrived there. He arrived at Haley's apartment, also Brookes. He had to see her face. He didn't care if she could see him but he had to see her.

Lucas jogged up the stairs and soared though the doors of her apartment. There she was!

He stood there frozen as he watched Brooke rock herself back and fourth in a small rocking chair in the corner of the room. She rocked kneeling her chin on her knees with a pillow in one hand and a picture frame in the other. A small trail of tears poured down her cheeks.

Lucas wanted to break out in tears at the sight of her. He was the cause of this! He was the cause of everyone's pain.

"I'm sorry," Brooke mumbled.

Lucas rushed to her side and kneeled on the floor next to the chair. "Oh Brooke, I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry Luke, I never meant to hurt you," Brooke cried into the pillow and squeezed the picture frame in her hand of herself and Lucas. It was the picture they took in the photo booth at the mall. One of the pictures he pimped her locker with.

Lucas reached for her hand; he was disappointed when his hand flew through hers.

"Ahhh," he shouted in anger. All he wanted to do was just hold her close to him and comfort her.

Brooke continued to rock herself and cry.

Meanwhile Lucas stood over her and took in her scent. Oh how he missed the sweet smell of her. She was the smell of peppermint candy and wildflowers. He would have done anything to just hold her at that moment.

Instead Lucas watched as Brooke, ashamed of her current appearance ran to the bathroom to hide herself.

He could have followed her but decided to leave it at that for now. He knew if he stayed any longer with her he would likely sell his soul to the devil for just a kiss.

He left the apartment and walked this time. After time he found himself walking to the river court. He was alone. He was glad, he couldn't stand to see the hurt in any more of his loved ones faces.

He screamed, he knew it was muted to everyone. He still screamed though. He knew he was alone in a world where everyone he loved was broken.

He dropped on the cement of the court and stared up at the sky. He now wondered if he would have rather stayed with that Damien guy instead of this torture! Anything could be better than this!

**Thanks to those of you who read**

**I'm sorry for the shortness of the chapter. If I see people are reading I'll try to make the next one longer. I have a lot of ideas for this story; I mean the plotline can go many ways if only I know someone cares. Please review and give your opinions. **

**Next chapter… Lucas realizes that out of everyone his brother is in need most. If only he could only find a way to communicate with everyone. (hint hint) ha ha…**


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